Jared Eimicke

An increasing amount of players throughout the NFL have decided to protest before games. In turn, Nike has proudly introduced a new line of anthem kneeling pads. 

"They're optimized for two to three minutes of peaceful kneeling," explained a Nike rep. "It's the perfect way to exercise your first amendment rights in style."

The kneeling pads are the first in a series of Nike protest apparel, which will also include fist-making gloves.      

"Whether you’re a famous civil rights figure, or just making your statement on the playground, we want you to focus on the issues, not sore knees."  

"Plus, they cost $17.89, the same year the Constitution was ratified. How fun is that?"